AN EXPERIENCE

 

Her smile dropped as soon as she left the stage, she was person who is seen as someone talented when in reality there was no talent to see. People say "talents are born, not made" and that was truth, for she had never been interested in acting or singing nor dancing, she was just an ordinary girl who puts her whole effort in what she does and that led to many people expecting the best from her because she was good at certain things. A woman from her church had asked her to participate in an event where she would need to sing a song and for her this was something that happens frequently whenever they needed someone 'talented' to participate in an event and even if she declines on participating, how could she ever? when the woman in front of her keep saying words like, "we really need you to participate" or  "we can't find someone who wants to participate" or even words like, "you can sing right? so why can't you participate" when words like these are said to a little girl then she would be pressured into saying yes when she really wanted to say no, and unfortunately that little girl was none other than me.

My mother has always told me that even if I'm not good with certain things I should always try my best to do good at whatever I'm doing like drawing or arts and crafts, those are my weak points because to me I have no sense of creativity and I always need to be inspired by something to think of something creative. My grandmother insisted me to participate in the different activities my church holds and I did what she asked me to do. At first I really loved performing in an audience as they all watch me either sing, dance or act, the excitement I feel whenever I perform and the audience clapping as I leave the stage as well as the joy of seeing my grandmother and father be proud of me made me happy, but as time passes I got tired in participating the different activities and yet they're still people who keep insisting that I should perform again, not caring on what I feel neither asking about it. 

The requests of wanting me to perform again has faded away as the years go by. I became distant of the people in my church, only wanting to strengthen my relationship with God but not the people in my church which meant I didn't have any friends to talk to and was always alone with my grandmother sitting next to me. My grandmother was the only one who kept telling me to make friends and be more social in church just like before but I make excuses in a way to decline what she says, but what's different from her to everyone was that she doesn't force me into doing things I'm uncomfortable of doing like engaging with people or performing again which I'm very great full for even if its a basic minimum thing to do as a human being.

One day, unexpected words were said to me, but in short they told me that they wanted me to dance for the upcoming anniversary for the church, it wasn't only me who got invited to dance but other teenagers like me as well but my decision was already made as soon as they told those words, what was my answer? it was an obvious no, I wasn't comfortable and it had been years since I have danced. The woman who had asked me to dance repeated her question but I didn't falter and kept declining which left her no choice but to accept my decision. My grandmother heard our conversation and had started to try and convince me to join and yet again I didn't give in and kept refusing but she said words that left me thinking, and although I can't disclose what she said because of how personal it was it did gave me a huge encouragement into accepting the invitation to dance for my church.

The day finally came to practice the dance and I don't deny that I was nervous because this was the first time in five years that I will be dancing and talking to people just like when I was younger. I hesitated upon opening the door but a lady, who I assumed will be demonstrating us the choreography, opened the door and welcomed me with wide arms as she introduces herself and the others. Surprisingly I was having a great time as people the same age as me talked to me and we even got to exchange jokes, laughs, and smiles with each other and at the end of the day I felt myself excited for the meet-up practices because I would get to see them again and when I got back home a sudden thought came to my mind, This was a great example for my assignment assigned by teacher jeanille which was that we needed to compare our experience of "the will of the river" and just like the river - it was afraid that it wouldn't reach the sea, it hesitant to go and reach the sea but a sudden encouragement left the river wanting to try, to try and reach the sea, to try to believe in itself that the river can make it to the sea, what harm will come in trying? and so that's what the river did, it did reach the sea.